Life in a metropolis has its costs, one of them is the high pace of life. And here the Internet comes to the rescue, with the help of which we, without leaving the computer, solve many small and large issues – to get useful information, to buy or sell something, to have fun and find your other half… So after all – to have fun OR to find your other half? Is it really possible to separate one from the other?
Arthur was sitting in front of me – an attractive man with noble gray hair and a lively look. We ordered coffee, and Arthur began to broadcast that either prostitutes or inadequate people “sit” on dating sites. I asked – what do you want? I want a wife who will give birth to a son for me! – he reported. – I have a large apartment in which I recently renovated – I knocked down all the walls, set up a lounge area with a hookah and put in a large bed! As soon as you walk in, you can see it! Wait – I interrupted him – But if you want a child, then why did you knock down the walls? Your future son will need a nursery in any case. Or do you want to settle him in the lounge area? Arthur thought about it. And I, taking advantage of the prolonged pause, dematerialized. While I was walking home, I promised myself for the umpteenth time to delete my profile and stop this empty talk that has been going on for over six months. But on the site I found a new message from Igor1975. A brunette with green eyes under thin lenses of stylish glasses, a lawyer, serious dating goals…
It just so happens that I belong to the class of freelancers, that is, I work from home. Working remotely is convenient, if not for one “but”. Lack of communication offline. Most romances that end in weddings begin in a professional environment, but what to do if this professional environment is limited to your desk? Well, then “Wi-Fi will help you”, as my friend says. Yulia, like me, is a freelancer, and she is also looking for her simple female happiness on dating sites. True, her search experience is calculated at three years.
Yulia has a great sense of humor, and a healthy dose of self-irony. However, in these three years, Yulia, despite the fact that she is only 28, has already managed to get Botox injections twice, pump up her lips, and get hair extensions. Despite the fact that Yulia is quite pretty. But what should you do if the guy you like suddenly drops out? – she asks – I don't have a government-isn't-so-good self-esteem either!
Yulia achieved the best results on the site with Dima – by the way, a musician from a famous orchestra. Trips to the conservatory, dates in expensive restaurants, touching text messages from morning to evening. A month later, Dima ceremoniously deleted his profile from the dating site. Yulia, of course, did the same. But suddenly Dima disappeared, stopping answering her calls. Yulia created a profile on another dating site and unexpectedly found Dima's profile there. Judging by the last date of her visit to the site, Dima was actively searching for his other half… And he hung there for over a year.
Psychologists say that online dating is fraught with a false sense of wide choice. You type the necessary parameters into a search engine, and in front of you are hundreds, if not thousands of profiles of attractive young ladies. (I am writing about young ladies, because usually men take an active position in the search.) It is like going into a pastry shop, seeing a huge amount of chocolate and falling into a stupor – what to choose? You want to buy everything, because it looks so beautiful and delicious! And you start trying. The process can drag on for a long time. As a result, you can overeat sweets to such an extent that you will start to feel sick from them. Or, on the contrary, you can get hooked on chocolates, like a drug. Actually, this explains the mysterious disappearance of Dima. And a whole series of Yulia's fans from the dating site.
The illusion of a wide choice is discouraging and demoralizing. It is possible that a man has chosen a virtual dating method, wanting to build a serious relationship. But there are so many temptations around, that is, girls looking for sexual adventures. Who is hiding under the nicknames “goddess”, “erotomaniac” and so on – that's another question. But the fact is that men are starting to get worked up. They get lost, confused and try to combine one with the other. And then they complain, like Arthur, who turned his apartment into the lair of an aging Don Juan – they say that they are all prostitutes there.
I will give some statistics from personal experience.
Vadik – 33 years old, psychologist. We talked for two hours in a cafe on intellectual topics, Vadik told me that he divorced his wife a year ago. He got used to living with a woman next to him. After we said goodbye on the porch of the cafe, Vadik said offendedly – you didn't like me! I was surprised – why did you decide that? I thought we would at least kiss… Most of all I was captivated by the phrase “at least”.
Andrey – 40 years old, owner of an online store. Charming, witty, showed a convincing interest in me – asked a lot of questions, even held my hand (later it turned out that these were banal NLP techniques). Just two dates in expensive restaurants, and it began to seem to me that I was starting to get stuck. But then Andrey suggested having the next date at his place. I politely declined, suggesting going to the cinema as an alternative. Andrey said that he would think about it and disappeared.
Arik, 41, civil servant. During our meeting, Arik was all but tearing his shirt off – I want a family, I'm tired of being alone, you've got me hooked! This didn't stop him from disappearing for a week. And then calling and shyly offering to go with him to a swingers' club. Arik even tried to motivate me by telling a heartbreaking story about the reason for his divorce from his wife. She refused to fulfill his long-standing sexual fantasy – to participate in group sex. I was sincerely indignant – Arik, I understand everything, but I'm not even your wife yet! Arik shouted out some very emotional interjection and hung up.
I will add that all the above-mentioned characters indicated in the dating goals column – serious relationships. The most interesting thing is that I believed Vadik, Andrey, and Arik. Some kind of completely undisguised loneliness was read in their eyes. I suspect that no “goddesses” in chic corsets and stockings could rid them of this feeling.
A month later, I started receiving timid text messages from all three of them – maybe we really will meet and sit somewhere, I'm good – white and fluffy. But I had a date with lawyer Igor1975. In the section about himself, he wrote – I know what I want, and how to achieve it!
The first thing I thought of when I saw Igor was that it was too good to be true. Igor brought to mind an expensive SUV that confidently moves towards its destinations and only a natural disaster can knock it off course. But then something inexplicable happened. A girl with a rare breed dog came into the cafe. And Igor… burst into tears – “she had the same one!” Whose? – I was surprised. “My girlfriend!” Three months ago, Igor broke up with his beloved, with whom he had lived for three years. And he started a profile on the site, counting on the fact that a new romance would help him cope with the pain of the breakup. We talked about this topic. Igor left, inspired by a new program of action – to get his love back. And I came home and, without thinking, destroyed the profile.
There is a beautiful saying – if it is love, it will leak through the keyhole. Even if this keyhole is a dating site. By the way, Igor met his girlfriend on a dating site. Good luck to you, Igor!
