Sex heals, and sex cripples. Lovemaking, which is almost officially recognized as a cure for a multitude of ailments—from the common cold to stress—often has the exact opposite effect. Sexual ambition often leads to injury or worse, oral sex threatens throat cancer, and failures in bed gradually develop into persistent complexes and mental disorders. And recently, doctors have encountered a new, previously unknown disease that turns sexual pleasure into a painful anticipation of the inevitable price to pay for pleasure.
A year ago, a man (gender unspecified) consulted a Dutch neuropsychiatrist suffering from an unexplained condition that had rapidly destroyed his desire for intimacy. The patient reported that for some time now, he had stopped experiencing the same relaxation and pleasurable sensations after sex, and had begun to feel surprisingly ill. This was despite the fact that under other circumstances—at work or anywhere else—he didn't experience such disturbances. Only after sex, and only after he had orgasmed.
This case could have been chalked up to a rare combination of health conditions that led to such side effects, and called unique. And that would likely have been the case, had another patient not come to the same doctor with exactly the same symptoms some time later. And then, another and another. Today, the group of orgasm sufferers includes eight people of both sexes.
They all complain of the same symptoms that occur after sexual intercourse. Patients unanimously claim that after enjoying intimacy with their partner, they begin to feel fatigue and muscle pain. Their throats become sore, their eyes ache, their temperature rises… Sufferers begin to sweat and don't know where to escape from this “love.”
Doctors are currently powerless to find a cure for this mysterious affliction, as they don't know its nature and can only speculate on an allergic origin. According to doctors, the discomfort is caused by the body's reaction to hormones released during sexual intercourse. This is quite serious, as one “session” is enough to make you question whether sex is really that important in life if it comes at the cost of your health.
It's not yet known for certain whether there are still people in the world suffering from the consequences of sex. Nor are there any cries from ideological opponents of sex or confirmed virgins, who might well see this as divine retribution for the debauchery and adultery in the sexual capital of Europe.