Humans have a small flaw that we take for a great virtue: we strive to control everything and make sure that life matches our ideal idea of it.
Unforeseen situations throw you off balance, deprive you of sleep and peace. Your imagination paints unpleasant pictures, forcing you to fall deeper into the swamp of fear and anxiety.
In moments like these, the wisdom from an old proverb always helps me: “This too shall pass.”
No problem lasts forever. This understanding gives you the strength to either tackle it immediately or wait it out if it's impossible to tackle it now.
Of course, sometimes you want to resort to radical actions to solve a bunch of problems in one fell swoop, but such an approach often leads to even greater losses.
Buddhists say: “Sometimes it is great luck not to get what you want.”
If you are expected to make a specific decision, act according to your conscience. This idea resonates with Stoic philosophy, particularly the teachings of the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, which can be summarized as follows: “Do what you must, and what is destined will come to pass.”
The main emphasis here is on the first part: “do what you have to.” This is our area of responsibility. You should not torture yourself with painful choices, deciding how to act to please everyone. The world has its own logic, and thousands of circumstances that we cannot influence will eventually form a certain picture. Do not burn out the remnants of nerves, do not try to predict everything.
Even if everything ends well, a person will feel tired from the overwhelming tasks of life, and will have no energy left for other accomplishments. Experiences are a stepping stone for oneself.
A person cannot guarantee the result, but he can guide himself: to choose an honest and bright path.
As the ancient Eastern wisdom says, which is often associated with the image of Genghis Khan, because it reflects his determination: “If you are afraid, do not do it, if you do it, do not be afraid, but if you have done it, do not regret it!” Of course, this is not a call for irresponsibility or a refusal to learn from mistakes. Rather, it is about the difference between analyzing the past and torturing yourself. It is important not to allow fear to paralyze the will to act, and fruitless regret to poison the present and prevent you from moving forward.
Have you ever heard the phrase: “I'm in a hopeless situation?” Many people make fun of it, and often rightly so. Of course, there are truly tragic circumstances, as well as conditions such as clinical depression or a situation of domestic violence, where such irony is not just inappropriate, but also cruel. In such cases, the “way out” can be objectively dangerous or psychologically unbearable. But in most everyday crises, when we feel like we're in a dead end, the problem is not the lack of a way out, but the unwillingness to accept its consequences. We want to make a decision faster, but it's worth remembering that haste spoils everything. It's not for nothing that in fairy tales of the peoples of the world, a little mouse says to desperate beautiful maidens and good young men: “Go to bed. Morning is wiser than evening.”
A person who is overcome by anger, jealousy, and other strong emotions is better off postponing making a decision. Often, decisions made at night under the influence of fatigue or anxiety look completely different in the morning.
A situation that requires decisive action from us is accompanied by an emotional outburst. It is better to take three days to think about it. Not to rack our brains for hours, to beat our foreheads, but to return to solving the problem, having cooled down our minds.
“You shouldn't expect a hurricane if the sun is shining outside.” There are no guarantees that you will encounter force majeure, betrayal, or deception, even if they happen to others three times a day.
I know women who married good but unloved men to insure their hearts against a blow, and men who believed that a rainy day was about to come and spent huge amounts of money on nonsense.
If you convince yourself that troubles are inevitable, even long-awaited happiness and cheerful sunny days will become their harbingers.
A person is not measured by a period, but by a day. Life is not a series of years, but a series of emotions. Love the bright streaks and do not overshadow them by waiting for the dark ones. Tsunamis will cover you, but they will also end. But if you live in standby mode, they will always be somewhere nearby.
“Never worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough of its own worries” (Matthew 6:34).
